I’m not really sure this post should be a tuesday tips, but it kind of falls under how to maintain a good work/life balance so I’m going with it….I’m one of those people that has a really hard time saying no…sometimes I say yes to things I don’t really want to do just to make someone happy or because I’m scared they will be upset with me if I don’t do what they want…sound familiar? You do that sometimes too? Or if you’re one of those people who doesn’t struggle with this..who knows how to balance when to say yes and when to say no really well, I have major respect for you. Seriously, please teach me your ways…
I’m slowly learning that it’s not good for anyone if you spread yourself too thin by saying yes all the time…in business or life in general…At the beginning of 2013 a lot of my friends chose a word that would help define a way that they could grow this year..I didn’t really have any good ideas of words to choose before..but now I really like the words Balance and Boundaries…I’m choosing both because I think they go hand in hand. At the end of college, I read a book called Changes that Heal…one of the main points that it discusses is learning to live a balanced life based on change and growth governed by three key factors – grace, truth and time. It taught me that sometimes being Christlike means saying no to good things. Sometimes I have to say no to good things or to things that I want so that I can say yes to a more balanced life. I need to learn to say yes to the things that really matter…and I really like this quote from Emily Ley..but I also don’t think it’s entirely true…I think that sometimes you have to NOT do some things that matter in order to set up boundaries in your life…people really matter to me…just because I say no sometimes doesn’t mean that I want to forget them…It just means sometimes I have to make sacrifices to maintain a balanced life!
For me, right now saying no so that I can say yes means:
- saying no to scheduling any portrait sessions in the first three weeks of January, so that I can say yes to working on getting the back end of my business organized
- saying no to eating out a lot so that we can say yes to going on a valentines weekend trip
- saying no to desert sometimes so that I can say yes to a healthier version of myself
- saying no to saving much money this year from my business, so that I can say yes to further investing in and growing it
- saying no to a client that I know would be a better fit for a different photographer, so that I can say yes to more brides who mesh well with me and my business
- saying no to watching a second episode of Grey’s Anatomy on Netflix, so that I can have time to say yes to reading a daily devotional with my husband.
- saying no to the third coffee date this week (although I love a good coffee date so this one is HARD), so that I can say yes to consistently exercising with my friend Melanie
- saying no to worrying about what others think, so that I can say yes to embracing who I am and honoring the Lord with my life
- saying no to working a full time day job and getting a full time salary, so that I can say yes to building my business
- saying no to spending time with a good friend, so that I can say yes to spending time with someone who needs a friend
- saying no to only inviting friends over when my house is perfectly clean, so that I can say yes to spending more time with people I care about.
I think learning to say no helps you define what’s really important to you…but I think it’s also important to learn to sub out the no’s for the yes’s and to consider why you are saying no…sometimes I think you should deny yourself and your own wants and comfort to help others…I’m learning that you also shouldn’t head over to the opposite side of the spectrum where your just saying no all the time so that you can say yes to yourself. Life really isn’t about me and what I want either…It’s been so crucial for me to start learning BALANCE. I want to fall somewhere in the middle of the spectrum so that I can freely give of my time and energy without spreading myself too thin…Because again, if your spread too thin then your not really helping or serving anyone like you could be…
Got any tips on life balance? What do you say no to so that you can say yes to having balance in your life?
January 29th, 2013 at 4:35 pm
Love this! I can relate on so many levels!
January 29th, 2013 at 5:51 pm
Anna–This is incredible and really really great timing for me to read! Thank you for your wisdom :) Love you! xoxo Holly
January 29th, 2013 at 7:39 pm
Oh my gosh I feel so loved!! Glad we are exercise buddies. And I learned a lot from this post. I’m going to go say no to getting on Facebook so I can say yes to getting dinner done
January 29th, 2013 at 7:44 pm
ohhhh thank you for this post. i needed it. “saying no to spending time with a good friend, so that i can say yes to spending time with someone who needs a friend” especially hit me. what an incredible perspective. thank you friend!
January 29th, 2013 at 9:02 pm
this is wonderful! you always offer such great insight on your posts! you’re wonderful and i pray that you find the balance you’re looking for! :)
January 30th, 2013 at 10:24 am
This one is my favorite, and by far the most important in my opinion: “saying no to worrying about what others think, so that I can say yes to embracing who I am…” I think I might write that on a sticky note and stick it to the bottom of my monitor!
January 30th, 2013 at 1:10 pm
Balance is something I am constantly working on!! I love how you wrote out all the things you are saying no to that you can say yes to something else. I think it’s so easy to focus on the no’s and to forget the rewards of discipline. I think I’m going to do the same thing so I can keep the yes’s in front of me and also stay focused on what I need to do to get there. Brilliant! Thanks for sharing!
blessings,
kristi